Those clowns in sports journalism are at it again! Someone actually tried to equate a football player’s stats to how he’d hypothetically perform as a baseball player. Naturally, this football solution couldn’t go unanswered! Your hosts firmly dismantle this absurd thesis and add in a couple great aesthetic gems to boot! Beat it football–you suck!
Wow, last week was so much fun, it’s time for another rendition of our hosts reacting live to a football broadcast. Lots of aesthetic wisdom flies from our lips! What a disgrace is football!
Enjoy this energetic ten minute taste of our hosts reacting in real time to a live football broadcast! Many great S&K article of dogma come out! Football is terrible!
Leading from last week’s outfield discussion, in this episode, your hosts wing their ball of aesthetic critiques to the cutoff man standing on the shallow outfield grass and take a look at the characteristics of the four infield players. What is their typical profile and how is each one different from its aesthetic ideal? Where is there room for debate? What is certain? Yes, durable as ever, is the notion that football sucks!!
Wait, what is sports aesthetics? Your enthusiastic hosts restate their thesis! Next item under their examining eye (and blustery microphone effect) is the outfield triad in baseball. What makes a good fielder at each position? Are they different? How do they relate to each other? Does football still suck it? Yes!!!
A new season arrives, bringing new theme songs but the same old crew and inspired rants that have won over audiences worldwide. Steve and Keith continue to distill sports wisdom and aesthetics into hard truth. In this episode, how does the suspension of disbelief factor into sports? How are an umpire’s binary calls superior to calls made along a spectrum? Football of course is the worst manifestation of these concepts because it sucks!
We end this season with an explosive, scotch-fueled double episode! The first section demonstrates why this pod needs a jingle, and by the end, our banter will have stimulated your ear drums so richly that you’ll claim that the rest of your life needs a jingle. After that, you’ll hear an extended, soul-nourishing affirmation about why baseball played at the pro level is not all that baseball is–there are many forms it can take and its best one might not even have been invented yet! Finally, you’ll hear a drubbing of a recent, discouraging experience at Busch Stadium, complete with multiple whip cracks. Exhausted after 37 minutes of entertaining nonsense that answers questions you wouldn’t dare ask, there’s still enough left in the tank to tell football to suck it!!
In this lively rendition, the World Cup gets the medieval treatment, a recent trip to Nats park reveals which parts of the game that had nothing to do with winning or losing were the most appealing, and a jingle reemerges to launch a back-and-forth about how a sport shouldn’t try to control the reality around itself, like football does by invading every corner of your life, or in DC and the Nats trying to build a resplendent neighborhood around its stadium in time for the All-Star game and falling well short. I smell the putrid scent of football’s dirty mitts in this disgrace–repugnant!
Well-oiled and ready for use, this pod peels out in a furious bolt, careening toward auditory fame in a blaze of glory. First, this episode features an article by an art critic that tries to wade into the sport-as-art concept but blows the analysis. Soccer “injuries” are a huge embarrassment to the sport, as well as to their recent adopters, basketball, and baseball players should no longer feel the sting of being heckled as the weakest players in sport. Finally, baseball isn’t just a game, it’s an issuance to a community. Take that Nats Park! Aaaaaaand…suck it football!
You won’t want to miss this week’s self-improvement tips for how good habits helps push out the jive and bring in the love. Also this week, an old jingle makes a comeback to highlight how baseball promotes creation and football promotes destruction, and then it all wraps up with everyone’s favorite dickery–this time it’s about how baseball includes in-the-moment crowd encouragement to the players who make great art. Of course, art means nothing unless football is sucking it!