What becomes of a treasured art form? To answer this, the boys trace broad trends in baseball and music, using jazz as a historical parallel. A group-based art form, with internal dynamism, mutual reliance, and also experimentation, but always within a resilient structure, is more enjoyable. An art form practiced under the pretense of a group, but that actually highlights the individual, strains–and breaks–the so-called “form” and obscures the fun, even if the individual achieves a lot. In other words, what happens when players push their art form, and what happens when they break it? A broken form?–in so many ways that points to football!!
Until baseball begins, we examine our analytical framework and ask: is aesthetics a two-way street? Do timeless aesthetics tell us about players’ actions, or have the players’ actions told us what the aesthetics are? This episode took three weeks of conversation to create, but it’s distilled to around 20 minutes! Check out the seamless linking of different periods of time, and the unbroken tradition–of late–to debut a new jingle! But all you need to know is the phrase “a priori knowledge” is uttered! Who could want anything more? We could: and that is, to say, “suck it, football!!”
Let there be no woe in this time between football’s wretched grip on our attention and the liberating thrust of freedom that baseball bestows upon America–Steve and Keith preview this year’s baseball season! That’s to say, they rehash last year’s theme of pace of play because an interesting article points out how this issue is mostly in the minds of the league and not a pox on the game. Like we’ve said all along: baseball takes care of itself; it’s much more the portrayal of the sport when the crowd feels it’s boring, than the truth of the game itself. But don’t lose focus on the true message: football sucks!!
In honor of the zany unpredictability of the Super Bowl, the boys hilariously flip their format by asking their future selves questions–from the past! Ironically enough, however, the Super Bowl turns out to be entirely predictable! Hilarious! Listen as Steve and Keith, who admittedly suck at football, foil the so-called edge-of-your-seat suspenseful action of this aesthetically decrepit sport by nearly predicting the exact outcome of this dull and unsurprising game. Does this mean they don’t suck at football?? One thing’s for sure: they don’t suck at jingles. A new classic debuts at the end, and don’t forget football sucks!
We’ve spent over five seasons on this podcast ranting in florid detail about the aesthetic atrocities of football, but how do you communicate these ideas to a football fan? It’s difficult to bridge the gap, and perhaps that difficulty stems from the mixed identity of the NFL, portrayed in its contradictory areas of market outreach: from fitness to fast food, family to violence, primal to science. “This sport is stupid” says Keith, and we couldn’t say it better ourselves, unless we say “suck it, football!”
Skip the dry bar because season six’s opening episode will blow your hair back! Updated format! Flashbacks! New jingles! What’s not to love? This podcast gives America more of what it craves: concrete reasons to turn away from football–as this nation seems to be doing by the hundreds of thousands of viewers per week. And we experiment with brevity, in case you–the listener–are busy and want more pithy assaults on this nation’s great abomination. All the gimmicks and revelations of truth you’ve grown to love…are back! Hook in your ear buds and press play! Suck it football!
It’s the final episode of season five, and we’ve saved some great rants for the end! First, we praise the World Series, which featured a wonderful Game 7 that reminded us why we love baseball. Looking forward, the boys express their utter disbelief and dismay at the crappy, dismantled football game between the Packers and Colts. Two separate penalty calls featured the referee asking the audience to excuse the flag that was thrown! What’s happening!? What’s to be made of the lower ratings for football? There are lots of explanations, but let’s not ignore the obvious! Football sucks!!!
What’s your favorite baseball game of all time? Is it your favorite because some zany or mega-colossal thing happened, or because it kept you tuned-in from start to finish like a good suspense movie? Baseball needs to keep the strike zone officiated by human beings. All sports involve pain, and how great is it that baseball contains it mostly in a small rectangle, whereas, in football, the pain is externalized to players’ necks or fans utter misery. Even if the baseball strike zone were called by a machine, managers would find edges of other rules to argue about, like if a pitch clock were installed. No clocks! Leave them in football, which sucks!!
Our inquiry is going all the way! What do the baseball playoffs even mean? Are we rewarded after a season of balanced, practiced play with this forced, pressured, short-term playoff contest in which the idea of a champion baseball team is stretched and capitalized upon by networks? No! Wanting a World Series winner comes at an immense cost! Football, of course, is a lost cause, unable to back off of their ridiculous force-centric insanity, tumbling towards calamity. You’re hopeless football–might as well suck it!
After the boys sat in some surprise box seats for the NLDS Game 2 between the Nats and Dodgers, their discussion covers several observations about today’s game. How does the in-game experience change in the post-season? What’s aesthetically interesting about a hellacious curve ball that menaced the Nats hitters or a statistical anomaly that sent numerous fly balls to left field? Does a playoff game increase tension to a point where the thoughts a fan brings with him/her to the ballpark take a majority share of one’s attention, affecting the way a game is perceived? One thing was unaffected! Football sucks!