Here’s the thrilling conclusion to a three-part series! More wonderful parallels are drawn, in artful terms, between music and baseball (and the loathed football). Most poignantly, football’s helter-skelter toggling between sport plays and palliative announcer babble mimics today’s confusing experience in music clubs where DJs play 30-45 seconds of songs and talk in between. Why go out to hear music if you only hear an unfulfilling portion? Because you’re a football fan, of course! A new jingle debuts! A timeless adage persists! F*** football!