It may not seem like it, but we know baseball isn’t perfect–heh–so this week we suggest ways to “update” it aesthetically if we could introduce an instant patch. The NFL Draft continues to bloat, giving rise to much rant material. And, coin flips determine the career of this year’s #1 draft pick as well as provide a “storyline” basis for our two hosts to ribbit like NFL announcers. Hippity Hop Go #$%^ Yourself football!
It’s our 150th episode and we’re just as surprised as you are, so we unleashed a string of surprises on this episode. A new segment overture and an unannounced jingle come your way, as well as a surprise at the end you’ll have to listen to get. Unsurprisingly, our praise of baseball continues, and football–you know…we say, “suck it!”
What makes the guys mellow about the sports scene? Is it one’s approaching mid-life concerns such as weddings, families, etc.? Steve takes on a new persona to argue why it’s true and right to draw conclusions about the baseball season in April and Keith revisits the ongoing scourge of Nats Park section guards disrupting one’s ability to get comfortable and watch baseball. You can’t disrupt the fact that football sucks!!
We have a regular season to talk about! This calls for intellectually parsing George Will’s assertion that baseball will ‘resume’ its position as the National Pastime, a thrilling jingle cameo, and a rollicking open-valve turbo firing of the Steve and Keith Machine! Wow does football suck!
Baseball fans can get a tune-up from this week’s episode just in time for the beginning of the season. The Steve and Keith machine transforms inane Spring Training commentary into a global view of the game, while a rant focuses on how fans can be more involved–not by wearing more of their team’s color but by actually cheering! And we throw in a segment assaulting football’s circusesque character! Circusesque? That sounds like dickery! And another noise: a sucking sound…of football!!!
In this week’s rapid-fire episode, listeners learn how March Madness promotes poor basketball, how rule changes relate to behavioral, and ultimately value, changes in sports, and what’s so bothersome about the new minor league baseball rule about starting a runner on second in the 10th inning. Listeners won’t learn about one thing they already know so well–football sucks!
As inevitable as the tides, the podcast is back! This season, the recrimination continues to crash over football, but the boys elevate baseball, like a joyful surfer, in new ways and with a new format! Our theme and jingles give way to segment overtures. This week, the pitch clock is thoroughly lacerated and a more positive encouragement for playing baseball (at a palatable pace) is introduced. The following needs no introduction: suck it football!
Exciting Super Bowl Season-Ending Double Episode! All jingles played!
Football’s “aesthetic” is mutable and unsatisfying because a team can decide to sit on its heels, “protecting” the lead, but inviting its inevitable demise. A full expression of football’s aesthetic–regardless of state-of-the-art safety equipment–results in broken bones and broken brains. Baseball’s aesthetic is stable, and craftily contains the game’s action, whether hyper or docile, which is much to the observer’s satisfaction. It contains its violence to inanimate objects: ball to bat, ball to glove, foot to base. Take that and suck it football!
Football has a celebrated one-game format for playoff advancement, but that means gameplay doesn’t deliver a story like a seven-game series in baseball or hockey might. So, viewers are left to accept the story told about the game entirely outside of the game, and then burst with reaction relative to that story once the action begins. Fans get out of football only what they’re primed to expect–making the unexpected such an outsized feature of the experience. Baseball is enjoyable to a neutral observer, and withstands biased commentating. Happy New Year! This year, football still sucks!