Two terms enter the Steve & Keith lexicon this week: “lasso luck” and “dick ball”! This eloquence of wordplay is the only thing keeping the boys afloat during another soul-dessicating football season. LOL–just kidding, the holiday beer also helps! This week’s commandment: football cherishes desperation as a redeeming feature (e.g. Hail Mary pass), but baseball shows us that desperation–in an at-bat, or an anxious pitcher–create low-quality gameplay. The boys finally flesh out the idiotic argument that football is a grand chess match, showing instead that this comparison is probably offered by fans and commentators as a way to mask football’s brutality beneath a veneer of sophistication. We pierce the veil! F*** football!!